Newness

The Gift of My Salvation

As I sit in His presence my spirit swirls and jumps. Starting with great reverance I look into His eyes, but the longer I look the more laughter envelopes my body. Within moments we are both on the floor. Every brush of His hand against me sends electric springs rushing through every vein and cell. My cheeks become wet with gladness as I open my eyes and see that we are now floating above His throne, looking down at His dancing hosts. A drumbeat, once quiet, is now pulsing throughout the Kingdom. Each beat of the drum releases colors and fragrance that fill up the atmosphere like a piece of art that is alive. Each giggle and laugh that comes from the Father, floating beside me with joy, creates a new color and releases a new fragrance that heaven and earth have yet to see. This is what its like when Dad and I, along with the Spirit wait for a meeting with the trinity, but it seems to me that Jesus is late. However, soon enough we can feel Him getting closer. Through the laughter and tears, colors and fragrances, we notice that the drumbeat starts to change. Something new enters the atmosphere. The party continues, but in an expectant manner. More drums begin to beat, they get louder and louder. The hosts are dancing, creation is fluttering, the colors are combining, emotions are unified, and the Spirit is delighting in this eternal hour. Then it stops. The gate to the throneroom, the doors of eternity, swing open rapidly with Jesus on the other side and an explosion occurs. More electric now than before, the drums are pulcing, the hosts are expressing, the colors are embellishing, our merriment is roaring, the essence is evolving, and I begin to undertand. This party is for more than recreation or enjoyment. Heaven is eternal. When Jesus entered the throne room at that moment, He had just come off of the cross, risen from the dead, and ascended into heaven. I feel something new fill up my spirit as Jesus and Papa collide in a massive reunion of love and joy, a grateful enthusiasm. The hosts are holding me as something unexplainable ruptures within me. I begin to feel Christ in me, the hope of glory. This gift that I've been given is so much bigger that I could have imagined. I now realize that not only is the price of my salvation a gift, but the grace that accompanies it. Allowing me to carry what was put in me on that day, in that moment, when He came and breathed on me.

This is an asignment I wrote for my AMT at school, I thought you might enjoy it...
"I am just a girl in love with a King." The power of my response threw him back with questions lingering in his eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"One night a King came to me, He showed me His love, and all that He did for me confronted my soul. He revealed Himself like waves. Suddenly I saw visions of His blood covering me. It covered me in a way that made my spirit whirl inside me and explode in a mass of jubilant fluttering, like a million butterflies in the depths of a cave swarming toward the light. In that unending moment I find my heart throbbing from just one thing. The love of this King." As I spoke the Spirit of My Love began to fill me up and overwhelm me.
"But who is this King that would come to you, a poor American girl, with nothing royal inside you? What makes you so special?" His skepticism was being diluted by the presence that he felt as he questioned his heart.
"He sees in a way that no other sees. He saw me as I am, a princess bride standing down His aisle, gazing into His eyes, not wavering as I boldly walked towards Him , clothed in purity, ready to receive the ring of covenant. I could not see this person who He saw, for she was not there in this natural realm. This is the king of the natural and supernatural, He saw past my disbelief and pride, and pulled from within my spirit what had been dormant." I was now being drawn into the romance and seemed to be in another place, far away with Him.
"So you mean God, right? I see... you're one of those spiritual girls. I never heard anyone talk about God that way though." A short silence lingered as we waited in expectance. "Why are my hands on fire? What is this thing?" His body was shaking like a cold chill had come through and it seemed as though the room wasn't holding still. With confidence I followed what the Holy Spirit was showing me.
"I know that you can see Him in front of you right now, He is awakening your spirit and calling you to the bridal alter. He sees you in a way you cannot see." With tears now welling and eyes closed, I could feel his spirit searching for the truth, my King was showing him His love.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"He is washing me, I am covered with gold, I have heat and electricity running through my veins. I have crawled to the alter. This King is holding me. He is asking me, 'Did you know that my wings surround you like the wind whispering through the trees? And like a storm, my love jealously rages for you?'" With hunger ravaging his spirit he cries out, "My love, my love, I must keep you my love! I dare not move my eyes, for your light has blinded me to all else. I am ruined for you. You have changed these dry stones into a river in pursuit of the ocean." My King is a lover, He loves to reveal Himself to His bride, as my friend that day found out. Are you ready to meet my King? He is at the alter looking at you with nothing but love in Him.

Princess Training

I know this may sound strange at first, but it led to a big breakthrough in my life. Recently I was talking with a close friend of mine about clothing styles and the amount of money we are used to spending on clothes. My friend is used to shopping at places like Nordstroms and Macys and said that at Norstroms they treat you like royalty, you walk in and you become the most important person in the store, they help you decide what looks good and what doesn't and what colors work for you and so on. I'm not used to that, I'm used to Ross and Value Village, I grew up on hand me downs and clothes that were given to me. I don't think I would even know how to shop in a store like that, it would probably take a while for me to talk myself into getting the nerve to even walk into the store.
So as I was thinking and praying about this, I heard the words "Just because you can't afford it doesn't mean you don't deserve it." And its totally true. I didn't realize it at first, but God told me that I was believing the lie that I don't deserve the nice new clothes, or the people caring about whether or not what I walk out the store with will actually look good on me. But I am a daughter of the King. I am a princess and its time I started acting like it. I don't mean that I am going to start bossing people around or acting better than others, but that I am going to start walking in the revelation and knowledge that my dad created the world and owns everything in it and everything in the Heavens and since I am His daughter, I have access to all of it. Did I mention how often He tells me I'm beautiful? How there's nothing I can say or think of that can exaggerate the love He feels for me? I'm not just His daughter, I'm His favored daughter, I am the one He spent so much time over perfecting my beauty, to tell myself I don't deserve anything over twenty dollars would be an insult to Him! I am the daughter of a King who values me!
It turns out however, that there are other reasons why I still shop at thrift stores instead of saving up for nicer newer things. When I was in junior high I was anorexic for about three months. I'm sure I don't need to describe what happens when someone has this disorder, you've all heard of the side effects. Even though it was over in a few months, God told me that the mindset behind it was still there and I needed to get rid of it. So what happened was whenever I went shopping, I went with the idea that I was going to be losing some more weight and shouldn't get something expensive because it probably wouldn't fit in little while anyways and why spend a lot of money on something that you won't be able to wear very long? Anorexia is also the reason I've never really been able to enjoy the more feminine style of clothing because I thought I was overweight and I wasn't going to flaunt it, so I covered it up with baggie clothes, sweatshirts, big jeans, and so on.
I am still learning what it means to be free of this, and how to walk and live in that freedom. Its foreign to me still. I have to relearn how to think about and treat myself, but since that place in my heart is now free, God can come in and fill it. I have more freedom to worship Him now than I did before and thats good news! Our God is big and wants us to have freedom more than we want freedom for ourselves!

The Beginning of New Grace

To be a new creation in Him is such a joy. To have every sin erased, to be filled with His presence, to feel the love of a father, to be surrendered to one thing.

I am absolutely set apart for Him.
I draw from His eyes the love of a father.
I cuddle up in His arms as He sings me a love song.
I rest in His presence, refreshing my soul.
I say no to everything but Him.
I create in me a clean, pure heart where He can dwell.
I give up everything to be close to Him.
I am committed, dedicated, and persistent.
I praise Him.
I love Him.
I move Him.
He is my love, my hearts cry is for Him alone.
I am oblivious to all else when He is near.

On June 25, 2007, God gave me a prophetic word in a new way, He broke me out of the box I put Him in by thinking that God spoke to me one way and that was enough. He shifted my paradigm and released me to receive from Him more freely; this is the word He gave me:

Cast down your lots, oh my soul. For He has renewed you and made you whole. There is nothing but the blood that can satisfy. There is nothing but His love that can tickle your heart. There is nothing but His joy that can make your heart dance. So step out, be bold. Bring out the tambourine and sing a new song to the Lord of glory. Chase Him in your praises and He will inhabit you. Carry on the tunes that manifest in your spirit and shout to the mountains, demand them to move. As the eagle soars above with the vision of souls to salvation, he lets out a cry that changes the nations. Count on the Lord, give Him glory and honor, be true to His heart and step with His heartbeat. Never lose sight of His plan full of love. Be steady and strong, be free and reckless. Tonight is the night of the beginning of new grace. The heavens jump with joyous freedom as the grace begins to fall and hearts begin to turn towards the valiant King of all. Tonight is the start of a triumphant call to bring in the herds led by the Shepard's of strength. The oil will come, the anointing will be available to grasp and wield, and the power that it is married to will cause the walls to crumble beneath the showers of the Spirit. The time has come for us to be the light upon the hill, to stop hiding under baskets and break forth in fire. The news of His coming will carry a fragrance as His new wine floods the lands and waves of revival break forth. Too much has been forgotten by the bride, but the time for renewal has come. A new covenant will be sealed between the Father and child.

He never breaks a promise, if He says it is the beginning of new grace, then it is and I will be expecting it, I will also be expecting to grasp and wield anointing and power, as the body of Christ we should be expecting these things also. I am not one to show off, but I don't believe that this word is just for me. I hope that whoever reads this gets blessed and takes something from it.

Arrgh!

Today as I was driving to the bank, I saw a homeless man on the side of the road with a sign asking for money, he had two dogs with him. As I drove past him I began to think about the homeless and I started getting frustrated. By the time I got out of the bank I was furious, I broke down and began to cry. I began to talk to God about it, I felt like it was so unfair. I understand that sometimes the choices that people make lead them to homelessness and its not just some random misunderstanding that happened to make them lose their job, that happened to make their spouse leave them, that happened to get them evicted. But I found myself wishing I had more blankets, more rooms in my house, more money, and more food for them and their dogs. I know that I have Jesus and that is something I can offer them, something worth more than just a meal or a place to stay. I don't care if they are a drug addict, a murderer, a prostitute, or anything else, they are still God's children. The Bible is full of parables and stories about this very thing.

The part that makes me mad about this is that I see the person, and I see how much the devil has taken from them. Even if they are a drug addict, drugs aren't from God, therefore the devil took this person's will-power, he took their home, he took away everything good from these people and made them become so dependent on a drug that everything around them just fell apart and nothing else was important anymore. Fortunately, my God offers deliverance from this. He offers deliverance, healing, salvation, love, mercy, grace, complete restoration, and more. Its not enough for me to just drive by these people anymore, its not enough to just pray a blessing over them and drive on. ITS NOT ENOUGH!

I have a responsibility as a Christian to step out and offer these people Jesus. I don't care if they only listen because they think I'll give them money, if the Holy Spirit is with me as I talk (which He always is) then its not just me blabbing to them about this wonderful God I know, its the Holy Spirit working through me to bring hope and restoration to this person. God is so great. He has so much provision for us. He always offers us a way back to Him, no matter what. Thats not like every other opportunity we have. Its radical, its amazing, and its MY inheritance!

God help me to walk fully in my inheritance!

Dreams

I love that God speaks to people through dreams. It has been one of the things that I have been excited to pursue and ask God for. Throughout the Bible He speaks to people through dreams, bringing revelation or direction or encouragement. He still speaks to us through dreams today. Dreams can be very confusing and not make much sense sometimes but that is because most of the time they are speaking symbolically. Literal dreams happen, but are fairly rare. God uses dreams for several reasons, because when we are alseep our mind and thoughts aren't there to interrupt, because its a way for Him to speak directly to us, because the only one who can know the real interpretation is the dreamer. There are also different purposes for the dream, such as to reveal things in your life that need to be dealt with, so that you can intercede for another person, to encourage you, and so much more.

Personally, God speaks to me through dreams quite a bit. I think part of the reason is because I've pusued it and been putting a pen and notepad by my bed everynight in expectation of a dream from God. (Its very important to write your dreams down, even if you have a good memory, because somewhere down the line you may forget it, also because as you write down the dream a lot of times the interpretation will come, or you will get a revelation about what a part could mean).

There is a responsibility in getting dreams from God. Dreams have a purpose and if you ignore what the dream is telling you then you're ignoring what God is telling you to do. I don't know about you, but I don't want to do that. When you get a dream, ask the Holy Spirit for the interpretation. Ask Him to reveal the purpose for the dream and what He wants you to do with it. He's the one who gave you the dream, He knows the answers, and He can tell you. Sometimes its blaringly obvious what the interpretation is, or what you're supposed to do, those are the fun ones... the reason you know is either because its something that He's been trying to get you to deal with for a while, or the Holy Spirit gives you quick discernment so you can act quickly. A lot of times those are intercessor type dreams. I've had dreams like that, they have usually been intense and I get a feeling in my Spirit during the dream and know that when I wake up I need to pray, after the dream is over the Holy Spirit wakes me up and I have this feeling, its hard to explain, but I know its so that I will pray. Sometimes the dream is for someone that I know, and sometimes its not, that's always fun.

There are still several things that I don't understand completely about dreams, but I intend to study it and find out more. For instance (if you know what this means, let me know) I had a dream that included myself, my brother, and some of my friends from ERM. Throughout the whole dream I kept hearing the name Lee, no one in the dream was saying the name, but I kept hearing it. I know one Lee by association, but the dream didn't seem to be for or about him, but I guess it could be... I'm just not sure.

Anyway, I enjoy talking about dreams, hearing about dreams, and studying how God speaks through dreams. Its an interesting topic, something that I would love to learn more about.

Dance

God has been putting on my heart lately the importance of dance in worship. Its something that many churches can't or won't accept, it has the tendency to offend religious spirits. But it also has the tendency to break down barriers that the devil has set up, to create intimacy with the father, and do so much more that we don't even know of.

In the Bible, King David danced, in 2 Samuel 6:14 it says "David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the Lord with all his might." In Psalm 30 David is rejoicing and showing thanks to God and in verse 10 and 11 he says "you turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent." In Psalm 149:3 it says, "Let them praise His name with dancing, and make music to Him with tambourine and harp." Dance is a form of praise and worship, a form that David especially enjoyed. It was an action of worship that came from the rejoicing in his heart. His rejoicing had to manifest itself, it had to be released, so he danced.

Dancing out of a heart of worship creates breakthrough. When meditating on dancing in the spirit, I have found three different areas that it creates breakthrough in, there are probably more, but I have found three so far.

The first is breakthrough in the atmosphere. When we dance its like we are prophesying to the atmosphere and telling it to move. It stirs things up and creates an opening between Heaven and Earth allowing Heaven to pour into the Earth. This makes the devil very nervous. When we step out of our comfort zone and get through all the junk that he set up, and entice Heaven to move, he has no choice but to leave, because the superior Kingdom has entered, the light has come and the darkness has to leave, it cannot hide.

The second is personal breakthrough. When I don't feel like dancing, that's when I need to dance. When I don't feel like worshipping, or becoming completely surrendered, that's when I need to dance. Because when I feel like that, it means that Satan has put some sort of unjust heaviness on me or has placed a bind on me that causes me to lose focus on Jesus. When I dance, or become surrendered to the Holy Spirit, its like an automatic breakthrough. It shakes off any bindings, and removes any heaviness. I become lite, I become a vessel for the Spirit to move and where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! Therefore, if I am under attack, all I need to do is talk to the Holy Spirit and say, "I don't want to do anything you don't want me to do, Holy Spirit move through me." And He begins to move me, He begins to speak to me and romance me, and we grow closer and there is new intimacy available every time you surrender to His Spirit.

The third is corporate breakthrough. When a person sees someone else dancing in the spirit and entering into breakthrough, they can make a choice and determine that they want that kind of breakthrough in their life and go after it. It also can encourage people, entice them into trying new forms of worship, stepping out of their comfort zone, and sacrificing something for God. That can propel people into new perspectives and help them to feel a new freedom in worshipping God. When one person decides to dance in worship it can create breakthrough in the congregation, and when people in the congregation decide to dance, it can create breakthrough in the whole region. Its amazing what happens when one person dances, and its amazing what happens when a whole congregation dances, both of which we've experienced at my church, Elisha's Request. But can you imagine how amazing it would be to have a whole region dancing before God and pulling on Heaven to invade their realities? And if you can imagine a region, then what about a Nation, and a nation, then a continent? And it all starts with one person deciding that they want breakthrough in their life and dancing before God.

Incredible.

If there is still a question as to why we dance, then ask yourself these questions. Husbands: why do you dance with your wives? Wives: why do you dance with your husbands?
We are the bride of Christ. We are in love with Him and He is in love with us more than we will ever know. You dance with your spouse because you want to be close to them, because dancing with your spouse is intimate, it creates unison between two people that makes it seem as though they were one. When we allow the Holy Spirit to to move us through dance, He is leading His bride to create a unison between us and to become more intimate with us.

One key part of that last statement is that He is leading. We must make sure that when we dance we are not doing it for show, we are not doing it because we feel forced to, we are not doing it for any reason other than to get closer to God and to become more intimate with Him. God can use anything, but breakthrough will happen only if you are dancing with the right motives and from a heart of worship. Because if someone looks at you and you are dancing with the intent (even not knowingly) to show off those new dance moves, or your new clothes, or JUST TO GET ATTENTION, then they will be turned off and it has the potential to close off that form of worship for the person because they don't want to look foolish, or they don't want people to think that they are doing it for attention.

Whenever I feel the Holy Spirit drawing me into dance I know its okay to dance, but if I feel like dancing because I feel like it, and not because I felt the Holy Spirit drawing me towards it, I stop and check myself. I ask myself why I want to dance. If its because something needs to happen in the spirit that's not happening (breakthrough: atmospheric, personal, or corporate) then its great and I dance. But I have to be able to discern which is the Holy Spirit telling me to dance, and which is me telling me to dance. The times that I have ignored the fact that it was me telling me to dance, the Holy Spirit checked me on it. It didn't feel right, there was no flow, no rhythm, the Holy Spirit definitely wasn't flowing through me and I wasn't hearing from God. After about one song verse went by, I knew what was happening and I had to ask for forgiveness for ignoring the discernment that the Holy Spirit gave me before I started dancing.

I have only begun to scratch the surface on dancing in worship, I am learning more and more about it all the time. What I've written here are just the things that I've felt on my heart, that the Holy Spirit has been talking to me about.

Start of Something Good...Maybe

I've thought about starting a blog before, but it didn't really fit. I started this quite spontaneously after being inspired by Sharon's blog. It is a good place to practice creative writing and practice listening to what God has to say. Several people seem to think that I may be an author someday, so I might as well start here! Since this is open to any who may want to read it I willingly accept any and all criticism, editing corrections, thoughts, and comments from those who desire to give them. This should be fun!